Parents-Falling in Love again

Falling in Love Again: Growing in Intimacy

The greatest thing a mom or dad can do for their kids is to have a vibrant marriage. Sacramental Marriage is meant to be rooted in gratefulness to God for being present to our desire for companionship, with God first, and then our spouse. Marriage, Priesthood, Deaconate, being a Nun or Brother, and single life are all tough in their own ways. Long term commitments shine light back on our weaknesses, lack of commitment, and follow through,  Diets and New Years resolutions can easily be abandoned, but some things are worth fighting for. Marriage, your marriage, is worth going the extra mile for, over and over again.  

Here are some practical action steps that have worked well for some people.  But every marriage is unique, and knowing your spouse will help determine if these ideas will help your relationship.  Listen to each other. Rekindle the flame.  Talk to each other about things that matter as well as things that don’t to keep the communication lines open.  God wants close marriages, where conversations happen. Satan wants to cripple our communication with God, our spouse, and our children.  In a battle if you can interrupt the enemies lines of communication, you can really cripple their ability to function properly.  We must fight for our relationships and allow our families to stay close to one another and not be torn apart.

  • The little daily stuff matters. Ask about your spouses day.  Remember the things on the their mind. Text them that you are praying for them before events of concern or just a random part of the day naming specifically the reason for your prayer. 
  • Pray with your spouse about the things most important to you two.  God will do the heavy lifting if asked.  He LOVES being asked.
  • Look through your courtship pictures.
  • Write your spouse the note that you would like to receive
  • Write thoughtful notes to your spouse and leave them in places that they will find them over the next week.
  • Read the Five Love Languages and act on the information, reading and discussing it together.
  • Date nights are really  important to keep your relationship alive.  It can be tough at first, to discuss things other than kids and logistics. Work through it.  Get to know and appreciate the person in front of you al over again.  Do not compare the idea of who they were when you courted to the person that they have grown to be.  Pray throughout the date in gratitude for the time you have to be together.
  • Buy flowers and randomly and have them appear around the house
  • Creat a bucket list, and take time to check items off no matter how big or little.
  • Go to the movie that your spouse will most enjoy; it works both ways.
  • Practice seeing the good in your spouse
  • Share your ideas, thoughts, hopes and dreams. Start experiencing interesting things and events together, discuss and let that open the door to deeper conversation
  • Listen, Listen, and Really Listen,
  • During misunderstandings, listen to your spouses concerns, then show them you are listening by asking, “what I hear you saying is ……… is that correct?”
  • Clean up your stuff.  If your spouse is a neat freak, they will notice, and be thankful.  Be joyful in the task, knowing that you are doing something meaningful for your spouse, and not expecting anything in return
  • Remember how your love story began.  Watch your wedding video.  Look through pictures.  Read old love notes from your spouse. 
  • TV is great, but shut it off sometimes and talk to each other.  Make it fun and not a chore
  • Theology of the Body requires that we learn a new language and look at our bodies as God sees them.
  • We have to work hard for our marriage with passion and ardor
  • Have traditions, and recreate old memories, such as going to a favorite restaurant, or consider a second honeymoon
  • Don’t be afraid to seek help, and go to marriage counseling, but carefully research who you’re trusting with your marriage.
  • Attend School of Love sessions to help strengthen your vocation to marriage.
  • Look at Sacred Sexuality to help create a deeper connection with your spouse both physically and emotionally