Pabani was just 14 years old, but the TikTokers had convinced her: she needed to put cold spoons under her eyes each morning to remove dark circles. It didn’t occur to Pabani to look for scientific support for this claim or to talk to a dermatologist or aesthetician (or parent). She, like millions of other teenagers, simply took the influencers’ word for it. Cold cutlery to the face? Why not? TikTok made me do it.

After a month of her routine, Pabani stood in front of a mirror looking for improvement. Nothing, she discovered, had changed.

Pabani can laugh at herself now, recognizing the naivety of her confidence that this routine would yield near-magical results. That said, she’s not so sure that the spoons will be the final example of her trusting an influencer. Like many of her peers, Pabani counts on social media for advice, news, and general wisdom. As digital natives, they’re used to the idea that expertise is available at the swipe of a screen—and that perceived expertise they’re seeking doesn’t have to come from traditionally sanctioned (or sanctioned whatsoever) experts.

As silly as the idea of shiver-inducing spoons may seem, its the tip of the (pun intended) iceberg when it comes to how social media — namely TikTok — is shaping the lived experience of modern teenagers. From the positives of creativity and community to the dangers of digital addiction and depression, TikTok is a whole world, one that is inseparable from the “real world” teens are living in every day.

For parents, TikTok may feel overwhelming or timewasting, fun or frivolous, dangerous or disheartening, or anywhere in between. These responses are all valid and understandable. Identifying initial reactions to the app and what it could mean for your teen is an important first step. If you’re feeling afraid or anxious, that’s likely to influence the way you speak to your teen about TikTok usage. So too will feelings of uncertainty, apathy, and even excitement. Consider spending a moment taking stock of your knee-jerk reaction to the idea of TikTok and asking yourself:

• Where do I think my gut response to TikTok comes from?
• What has informed how I think about TikTok?
• How have I spoken with my teen about TikTok thus far?
• Where might I need God to meet me in my thoughts, feelings, or actions regarding TikTok usage in my family?